Steps to take

Everything in my life is different now that I have Dominick in it. Instead of operating as a "me," I am learning to think in terms of "we." One flesh. Though we aren't married yet, cleaving together is a process of becoming.

Simultaneously, however, each of us has to work on our individual issues that may hold us back from giving 100% to this marriage. I want to do this right, go into a life with him as prepared as possible, already acting as a wife so that the transition is easy. And I know that there are parts of myself that need to change so that I can be the wife God intended me to be to my husband.

The most important thing I need to work on is submission.

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything" (Ephesians 5:22-24).

Being submissive isn't about being silent, being a slave. It's about supporting him no matter what he does, even if I don't agree. But really, it's not about him, Dom. It's about trusting God. Being submissive and obedient to God by falling under the covering of my husband.

This is difficult for me because I've always been an independent woman. Never have I had a male figure that I've had to answer to, and I've always taken care of myself. I'm no damsel, and I made that clear to Dominick early on. But I need to let him take care of me, need to let him feel needed, need to stop doing everything for myself. It's not that fact that I can do everything myself. It's that I'm not meant to.

Besides learning my place as a wife, I also need to work on my walk with Christ, becoming strong in my knowledge of the Word so that I can support Dominick with God's word, which pierces to the heart and is the only truth that can lead us. I need to become what the Bible lays out as a "virtuous woman."

The qualities of a virtuous woman (as laid out in Proverbs 31:10-31)

• worth more than jewels as a wife
• trusted by her husband
• does her husband only good and no evil
• works with her hands
• provides food for the household
• helps the poor and the needy
• wears strength and honor as clothing
• speaks wisdom
• is not idle
• speaks kindness
• fears the Lord ("Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.")

This is what I want to be; this is what I am working toward. This is what I will be. Because I love God and because I love Dom.

And I do love Dom.