Reflections for 2010

I snagged these questions from Simple Mom because I felt like they were a really good way to wrap up a year.  Pay no attention to the fact that it's taken me a week to get around to them.  But Tsh put together a really solid list of things to ponder upon from the last year, so you can start off 2011 feeling grateful for what you've gone through.

So, let's get on with it.

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
   Hands, down, getting married.  Obviously.  Gaining a life partner and best friend who I can trust and find security in has been the greatest experience of my life.  Watching him become the man I need and becoming the woman he needs has been immensely rewarding, enriching, and satisfying.  There's nothing better than love.
2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
   Everything leading up to our wedding and all the things we went through in our church and with Dom's family afterward definitely ranks up in the top three worst things I've ever gone through.  His parents' lies caused a split in our church and made me an outcast among the rest of the family and with many families on the island.  I hadn't even been here a year, and yet there were rumors and lies circulating about me, none of which were warranted.  Knowing that his family were trying to get rid of me and dissuade Dom from marrying me, when all I wanted was to gain a family, was crushing.  BUT, the experience also forced Dom and I closer because we had to be a united front against all of the attacks.  It drove my trust in him deeper and made him more of a man, ready to be the head of our family.  Altogether a good thing for our relationship and personal growth but seriously heartbreaking.
3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?
   The birth of my lil' nephew, Matthias Ezekiel Rosas.  He's so adorable, and even though he is across the sea, I love him so much.  I'm so happy for my older sister, Aurora, and super envious of her little bundle.  I mean, LOOK AT HIM!  
   
   
4.  What was an unexpected obstacle?
   The distance that marriage creates between you and your friends was a big surprise.  Especially because we're young and no one our age is married, it's created a really big separation between what I want and need in my life, as well as what is important and how I spend my time, and what my friends goals, cares, and time-kills are.  We just don't relate like we used to, and this has ended a few friendships and made some others not as prevalent in my life.
5.  Pick three words to describe 2010.
   Transformational.  Challenging.  Enlightening.
6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2010 (without asking).Heartbreaking.  Character-building.  Lonely.
7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2010 (without asking).Divisive.  Growth-inducing.  Love-filled.
8. What were the best books you read this year?The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula LeGuin was so good but is definitely not for everyone because of her scientific style of writing.  Wild Swans by Chang Jung was a really emotional, eye-opening read, which I loved.  I also reread Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, which is one of my top five favorite  books, and it was just as enlightening as every other time.  All the other books I read this year were mediocre.
9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?
   Well, Dom is a given, right?  So, besides my darling husband, I grew even closer to my older sister, which I find remarkable since we're separated by the Pacific Ocean.  I also cherish the few friends in the states and Asia that have kept in constant contact with me, keeping me in their prayers and thoughts.  
10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December this past year?
    Hands down, my desire to always be independent and repulsion of needing anybody.  I've grown a lot spiritually and emotionally and learned that being able to lean on another person and turning to them is not weakness but a gift and an honor.  I've learned how to submit to my husband and still maintain my identity and opinion.  
11. In what ways did you grow emotionally?
    I've become a lot less naive and trusting with people.  I'm not sure if this is completely good or bad, but I've come to expect less from people and not always start off thinking that someone is going to treat me well.  I enter every new meeting with a blank tablet and let that person show me who they are so that I don't enter with false expectations and get hurt.  In the same way, I don't judge them prematurely, condemning them as a bad person, just to be ashamed later on.  I trusted all the wrong people since coming to Guam and have learned that they were the wolves and those they steered me away from were the sheep.
12. In what ways did you grow spiritually?
    I have spent this past year pretty much on my knees.  With all of the drama and stress I was going through, I had no choice but to rely on God, realizing that I was too weak to get through everything intact emotionally and spiritually.  It was the first time in my life that I relied wholly on Him and humbled myself enough to admit that I can do nothing without Him who strengthens me.
13. In what ways did you grow physically?
    Well, I didn't grow so much as shrink.  For reasons unknown to me, I have lost about 40 lbs since moving to Guam, and my weight is still going down.  I exercised on and off, always getting out of the routine because of time constraints, but I have a new appreciation for physical activity since I now have someone I'm not embarrassed to exercise in front of.  
14. In what ways did you grow in your relationships with others?
    I've learned to trust the people in my life who have proven their trustworthiness much more than I did previously.  I'm still guarded, but I am much more affectionate and openly appreciative than I was before.
15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
    Well, I haven't had a profession since arriving on Guam because I don't know anybody, and that's the only way to get hired here (infuriating!).  But I really appreciate being able to take care of the home that Dom and I are making together.  I don't like chores in and of themselves, but I enjoy taking care of my husband and showing my love for him through doing the laundry and making him dinner.
16.  What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
    Um, honestly, just getting over the fatigue that has haunted me this year.  I'm always either getting sick, sick, or recovering from being sick, so all of the physical work of keeping house exhausts me.
17. What was the single biggest time waster in your life this year?
    Oh, internet, how I love and loathe thee.  What else could it be, right?  Games, Stumple-Upon, and Facebook are so tempting.  But actually, I think I napped more this year than I was on the computer.
18.  What was the best way you used your time this past year?
    I spent most of my time with Dom, so what could be better than time with your loved one?  But I enjoyed exploring the island, going down south, and just curling next to each other with books.
19. What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?
    I can do NOTHING without Christ, but I can do ALL things through Christ, who strengthens me.
20.  Create a phrase or statement that describes 2010 for you.
    Diamonds in the rough shine the brightest.